Psychotic Crossovers
by kakashidiot
Summary: NEW QUOTES UP! And another ANSWER KEY! Somebody fights with a kunai through their testicle. Team 7 hijinx and more! CRACK DRABBLETS!
1. I SPY

I do not own Naruto…

* * *

I Spy…

Naruto and Iruka were sitting in the forest clearing eating their ramen in celebration of Naruto's graduation. Naruto decided to play "I Spy" with Iruka.

"All right," Iruka agreed with a sigh.

"Okay! I'm thinking of something orange, and it's small…"

"It's you."

"Right!" Naruto laughed.

A moment later…

"I'm thinking of something orange and small…"

Iruka sighed.

"You again."

"All right, Mr. Smartypants," Naruto blinked.

Later…

"It's orange and small and has three stripes –"

"You – and the next one – just a guess – you."

"Okayyy," Naruto blinked. "That's just scary."


	2. Greens the Color

I do not own Naruto

* * *

Green's the Color

"Why do they call you the Green Beast?" Kisame asked Gai with curiousity.

"They call me the Green Beast because of my great ninja skills and my awesome clothing style – all green!"

"Uhhhh…" Itachi blinked. "what about when you're not wearing the spandex?"

Gai paused.

"I usually wear it."


	3. Not Like Any Other

I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Not Like Any Other

"I'm going to beat you, granny!" Naruto bragged to the Slug Princess.

The drunk woman frowned and ended up dragging the young Genin out onto the street, where, to Jiraiya's and Shizune's dismay, the two began their duel.

Gathering her chakra to her finger, Tsunade readied herself – and as Naruto approached her, she leaned forward to tap him on the head, slamming the blonde Genin's head deeply into the earth.

"I'm not like other Grannies," she smiled as she posed.


	4. Doping Up

I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Doping Up

As Team Kakashi, the Elder of Sand and Team Gai approached the cave to fight the Akatsuki, Team Gai prepared themselves. Neji practiced his Divine Whirl, TenTen sharpened her blades, Gai did a few pushups.

Looking at his favorite student, Gai sighed.

"Umm… I might regret this… but… here's some sake, Lee."

As he handed the flask over, he raised a bushy eyebrow at the others.

"You might want to stand back."

Lee took a gulp and began to bounce all over the place.

"WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO!"

Gai sighed. "I think I have made a serious mistake…."

Naruto jumped up.

"I want sake too!"


	5. Creepy People

I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Creepy People

The Chuunin Exam was a time for Naruto and his class to realize how many different kinds of shinobi there are in their part of the world. Some of them… seemed downright wrong.

Considering Gaara, Shikamaru noted to the Examiner – one Shiranui Genma – that the Sand Dude needed to be taken into custody.

Genma sighed.

"We don't capture people for being creepy," he pointed out.

Izumo's eyes slid sideways in thought – he pulled out his walkie-talkie.

"Hey, Kotetsu, you know that Mizuki guy we have in the labor camp?"

"The creepy one?"

"Better let him go."


	6. The Last Teacher

I do not own Naruto.

* * *

The Last Teacher

The Hokage sighed as he shuffled down the drab hallway of Konoha's Academy. Behind him, Iruka looked around in curiosity – it would be his first year as teacher. He tuned into what the Hokage was saying.

"You're the twelfth in a long line of teachers who have come here to look after the kids – ever since their last sensei died… I trust you will be an improvement on the last one. He stayed only two hours."

Iruka gulped, opened the door and peered in.

A pail of water descended on his head.

Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji all laughed.


	7. Memoirs of a Ninja

I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Memoirs of a Ninja

Jiraiya had many stories to tell the youngsters – it was a way for him to elaborate on his greatness – while making teasing remarks about Tsunade – and snide remarks about Orochimaru. His young audience – the young Chuunins of Konoha – Naruto included, seemed to be rather bored. Until Jiraiya recounted one journey in which he bumped into a vicious gang of Missing Rock Nins. It began with:

"I once fought two days with a kunai through my testicle."


	8. Alternate Introduction

I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Alternate Introduction

Another possible way for Kakashi to endear himself to his students on the first day of introductions.

He was very abrupt.

"Hatake Kakashi. Ex-Anbu –"

He scrawled on the chalk board.

"Icha Icha Paradise addict –"

He threw the chalk to the side.

"And your new Sensei. I'm here because the Hokage asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end! Any questions?"

Team 7: In Shock.


	9. Dance in the Leaves

I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Dance in the Leaves

It was a great time of excitement for the girls (and dread for the boys) as Iruka-sensei prepared a dance for the Genin teams. Girls waited eagerly for the hesitant invitations from the boys.

Watching Neji coolly walk around with his cousin Hanabi, Naruto and Sasuke couldn't help but feel despondant.

"This is mad!" Naruto fumed. "At this rate, we'll be the only ones in our year without a date!" He paused. "Well… us and… Rock Lee."

"Tch," Sasuke snorted. "I bet he's going to take himself."

Sakura frowned at their harsh attitude.

"It might interest you to know that Lee has already got someone."

"Oh!" Naruto slumped to the ground, blue lines wavering around him. "Now I'm really depressed."


End file.
